Language Of The Future: COBOL?!?!?!

You've all seen the news flash by now, I'm sure:

Wanted urgently: People who know a half century-old computer language so states can process unemployment claims

The intensity with which developer hopefuls pursue the latest trends in programming - webAssembly, Flutter, blockchain - is, of course, a good thing. New things are great.
But to have stable employment, don't count out old stuff.
Yes, I know this. My inbox is constantly filling up with recruiters begging for skills like .net, ASP, Ruby, jQuery...you name it. Hell, Cold Fusion is still a thing. Not to mention perl and Actionscript, which I loved, but the point remains...
Why?
Ask yourself: what do employers want?
For the revenue to pour in with no drama. They want customers and clients cheerfully spending, and no whining from the help regarding office tools failing or the website crashing. And if that means sticking duct tape on a 25 year old machine, that is exactly what they are gonna do.
No one tries to replace a behemoth like that without a damn good reason.
Change in the corporate world is always bad. The last thing they need is some smartass kid coming in gushing about the joys of Rust.
Co-workers don't dig that, either. It sends them a very unpleasant message:
Your skills are no longer valuable.
They hate that. They take that personally....because it is personal. You're endangering their kids' path to an Ivy League school by telling them they need to learn new ways. Rude!
But it's not so bad. Through the seasons and tides of change, stuff like Java, SQL, and C++ endure. Even the cool kids gotta admit that things like R and Unix can make some sexy things happen on your company machines.
Startups, of course, are a little more liberal, but as time goes on and they actually start to make money, they'll figure out that one very simple rule of business:
If it ain't broke, don't break it.
And don't you break it.
Your future boss will thank you. Hopefully.

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